Terrible terrible 2's

I was too tired to go to coffee this morning, even though I was really looking forward to it. We bummed around and Ella was in her terrible 2 self. She climbed on her train table, which I decided to allow and not make a big deal out of it. I'm tired of saying no, and she wasn't going to get hurt by it. She ripped the train apart, stood on the table and held the 2 foot track in the air waving it around. It was like she was Ella-zilla. Rachael called and said she needed some company, so I put Ella down for a nap and she came over. Of course the dogs barking at Rachael woke E up, but she did sleep for an hour. So we went to the mall to grab lunch and search for a book about being scared. I love the Joseph Beth bookstore, and thought they'd be the ones to surely have one. Nope. I did get "Where the Wild Things Are." After the mall we went to Babies R Us to get some Tylenol and snacks. We then ran by Michaels to pick up several bowls for mom that were on sale. I was on the other side of the store- Rachael had Ella so she didn't have to see the scary stuff and I heard her yell, "baby Ari!" I thought she just saw some baby who looked like him, but when I walked up Morgan and Ari were there talking to Rachael. After Michaels we came back and gave Ella dinner and I took her upstairs to read, but she threw a major tantrum, so I walked out. Rachael and I worked on some scrap projects then I just couldn't play any longer. My energy was spent. I can't take more days like this. Ella's usually so well behaved in public, but not today. I hope this doesn't represent what I'll be dealing with for the next year. I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle it. Before we left for the mall we were walking outside and she ran to her house. I told her we were leaving and she threw herself down and hit her head really hard on the pavement. She had 2 tantrums on the way to the mall, two in the stores, pretty much the whole time we were in Babies R Us she screamed and threw anything I put into the stroller. She screamed for almost 2 hours when I put her down for bed. I'm just so tired and over it, I don't know what to do. I've read several behavior books and they aren't working. She's not teething unless her 2 year molars are coming in and I can't see them. She's eating normally and getting 12 hours of sleep at night and at least and hour or 2 hour nap. Anyone have an ideas???
So Roxy got out of surgery fine and she gets to go home tomorrow. Rachael is still freaked out, but it's to be expected after all of the things she went through with Debo. Hopefully the cancer won't come back and this will be the end of it! So keep her in your thoughts.