Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Loss During the Holidays

This has been an exceptionally hard year for my friends and family. We've had lots of ups and downs. Stress from my sick baby girl who was ill for 1/2 the year before they ended up diagnosing her with PFAPA and removed her tonsils. Then I had surgery, followed by the loss of my grandfather. Then 2 of my friends husbands have been battling cancer. Sadly the week before Christmas, Sean passed away in his sleep after a 2 1/2 year battle. And lastly, 2 days before Christmas I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. Yeah, talk about an emotional roller coaster!

I've never had a holiday filled with so much sadness and loss. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I never felt the spirit this year. Luckily, Ella reminded me every day what the holidays are about and was able to keep me going. Children are such inspirations and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. :)

It's been hard to focus on writing this year and I so don't want to quit Mkokopelli. I've learned so much this year, I want to share as much as I can! My hours were cut at Franklin Goose, so I will now have more downtime to focus on writing and spreading the message of great eco-friendly companies with my loyal readers who I have felt like I've abandoned. And in my heart, I haven't! I so miss you guys!!!! I hope everyone had a much more joyous holiday! And I'm really here to stay this time.


  1. Take your time. It's been a tough year for you and a little down time might help.

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing ok.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear that. We've had a rough year too but not quite as bad. I lost my grandma (who raised me) and there was this huge fiasco in my family regarding her money, so now they all hate each other and I was stuck right in the middle listening to all sides when really I just wanted to scream out "I miss my grandma!".

    My sister moved away before even coming over to see my new baby and my brother went off to the marines. The holidays were really weird this year. I smiled and laughed and I tried to have a good time but there was something missing you know... Funny because when 2010 started I had a lot of good luck and I said out loud (which I'll never do again) that 2010 was going to be the best year ever. pfft..

    But you know, it's not a competition. Just wanted you to know that I feel you. I'm sorry to hear about the baby too. I have been there a couple of times and it's difficult. I can't imagine dealing with it during Christmas time.

    I hope things start looking up for you and that you won't stop posting for good because I really look forward to your posts (even though I rarely have time to comment). You sort of inspired me to do better w/ my own blog and to be a lot more green than I was.

    Here's to a better year for all of us (but not the best year ever because I'll just jinx it) :)

  4. Wow, you have been through a lot. I've said a prayer for you and yours in the hopes that 2011 will fare much better.

  5. We wish you the best for 2011... Thanks for all of your great work over all this time. It has been great to be part of your readership.

  6. I'm so sorry you've been confronted with so much sadness this year and am wishing you a much happier 2011.

  7. awww,sweetie
    so sorry it's been so hard for you.
    i am hoping 2011 brings happiness and love your way to share with your friends and family too!!
    bright blessings girl

  8. I'm so sorry to hear of all the sadness and loss in your life. Thank God for Ella, she is helping you through. May 2011 be brighter and happier for you.

  9. Loss is such a tough part of life, and the level of loss is so individual because it is based on how open your heart is. It's more painful when you love, but recovery is quicker as Ella has pointed been your guide.

    As a fellow blogger that has ebbed and flowed there is no reason to worry about your readers abandoning you. They are clearly still here, and they will come and go.

    Be fearless in the blogging world. If you are like me, then you do it to express yourself regardless of what others say, do, or want. Be self-expression, do your blog, and have faith....we're reading.

    Good luck,


  10. Im sorry you have had a tough time lately. Just remember to take care of yourself emotionally and physically and we followers will still be here when you are ready :)


  11. I'm sorry to hear of all your losses and difficulties. My prayers are with you and your family.